The Placebo Effect is alive and well, still.

 Sixty Minutes ran the story last Sunday evening regarding recent research in the effectiveness of medication for treating mild and moderate depression.  More and more research they found demonstrated that placebos were as effective or even more effective in treating mild and moderate depression. Needless to say, the quotes and comments shared by the drug companies and some therapist that rely heavily on medication did not agree with the finds of recent researchers. 

The “placebo effect” is still alive and well. I can relate. If it isn’t real then much philosophy and great writers where just making it up as they went along.  Think of those phrases of history and religions…”As a man thinks…” “Self full filling prophesies”, the song lyrics that remind you that, “Only those that believe can see…”

Most recently researchers have demonstrated the power of our minds and thoughts through the use of visualization. The use of visualization of limb movement after a stroke or the use of visualization in sports…(the most proper “golf swing) can change the neurons firing in the brain.

The field of “talk therapy” is also part of the research. All kinds of things can change how we feel and think and what chemicals are released in our bodies.

I balance my belief in the power of our own minds and bodies to heal with the knowledge another thought. What about that individual that does all the right visualizations, what of the individuals that pray (and believe) in the good outcome?  Do they have to bear a stigma when their bodies don’t heal?  Are they sent to the pool of people just didn’t believe well enough? 

Personally over the years, I have always read those articles about the new “happy” drug. Now you can’t watch an evening of TV without being bombarded with solutions to deal with your depression. Severe depression is not what I am talking about here. I have been able to get out of bed (though I admit to the use of naps…) and have functioned through most daily routines. So I figure that I am just that group that the placebo research folks have been working with. 

I liked the research findings because they agreed with what I have discovered most of my life.  Optimism is not a passive thing. It is a commitment. There is a reason that “Polly Anna” works. It doesn’t make the sunshine everyday but it keeps you believing that the rays will come back and reminds you to be ready. In the meantime, you an appreciation and study the lovely shades of gray in the storm clouds. I believe we most often find those things that we hunt for and the miracle is that we occasionally get surprised by a joy we didn’t even know to hunt for but just stumbled upon because we were at least willing to journey out.

I appreciate the relationship between our minds and our bodies.  The effects of the chemicals and nutrients that we take in are only beginning to be understood. What early natural “healers” knew has slowly begun to be appreciated once again. What is toxic? What is beneficial?  So along with the Gestalt of “Garbage in Garbage”…I like anything that reminds me that our minds can be toxic or healing.  I’ll take another placebo please.

Personal Journeys

Have not found much poetry hanging around lately. For a few weeks I think I forgot to even look and didn’t care. It all looks so much easier watching the Hallmark Specials. Life itself is not nearly so simple to wrap up within the two-hour time frame minus feel good commercials. 

There is a long story that takes in the last twenty plus years or there is the short story.  It took over twenty years to get here so I guess it was pretty optimistic to think I could complete the turn around in a couple of weeks. As it turned out my body did not cooperate. Back in the early 90's after years of taking over the counter pain medication for headaches the headaches began showing up everyday around the clock. So everyday I continued to take my Tylenol and going about working, raising children and life in general. The miracle is that my liver survived the toxic levels of Tylenol that were swallowed throughout those days. Day after day….

There were a few attempts to seek assistance from doctors but more than one didn’t really believe me when I said that the headaches were everyday or every 5-6 hours unless I took OTC pain medication.  By this time the headaches that would hit me if I forgot or had gotten to involved in an activity to notice the time frames. The pain would wake me up in the middle of the night if I didn’t go ahead and take medication proactively. Yes, I have always liked my sleep.

The headaches also over time took on the characteristics of migraines complete with light sensitivity, stomach upset, and difficulty concentrating. Finally in the early 2000’s I made an appointment and a trip to see a Headache Specialist at the Cleveland Clinic. The appointment was not lengthy or earth shattering but it was nice to have a diagnosis that made sense, “Rebound Headaches” with migraine characteristics.  I was also able to get non-narcotic prescription medication that was able to get me off of the toxic Tylenol. 

The “what to do about the knowing” is entirely a different story. Not much to do apparently. Cleveland Clinic felt that back home talent would be able to handle the future. Over the last ten years several attempts to add medications that are suppose to help with migraines have been tried. No helpful outcomes and not being a fan of unneeded side effects I always came back to the “keep it simple” philosophy. I also believe in the try to keep your liver and kidney healthy philosophy.

And this is the short back-story with out the drama.  In recent years I have started taking medication to lower my cholesterol and then I added Inderal to lower my blood pressure. It was also suppose to help with “migraines.”  So for the past year or so I have just not been feeling all that good. The headaches were much better controlled on my current medication but my head never felt “good.”  It was as if there was this shadow hanging over me. No longer really in pain but sure was missing the sunshine! I kept thinking that if I had the luck of staying around for another twenty years did I really want to feel this way? 

Several doctors would suggest that I “just taper off” slowly. Well except for the part about functioning in the world and being responsible to take care of daily life business that might be a good idea. I didn’t see anyone volunteering to pay for a stay at some Betty Ford Clinic while I tried to go through withdrawal.  So why a month ago I decided to do just that escapes me at the moment.  I did realize that I wasn’t expected back at work until the middle of March and that I currently had no commitments other than making sure that the dogs got outside and feed. Turns out that commitment was harder to meet on a few days than I would have imagined.

I spent days on the couch with my eyes closed trying to visualize some healing balm slowly spreading tenderly around nerve ending in my brain that seemed raw and hyper sensitive to any movement or sound.  The pain would move around for one side to another but the over all rawness like an open wound is what hit me. I couldn’t sleep at night or much during the day. I would listen to the TV droning in the background and at night the BBC would murmur world news with beautiful British accents. I now am very aware of that five hour difference.

I did finally get some Prednisone to assist with the process and serve as a bridge to the other side. It helped but when I got to the end of the Prednisone Taper and the other side of the bridge all I found was more water.  I was again not able to function or get off the couch and the urge to swallow handfuls of pills began to push to the front again.  I told the doctor that I was going back on my Indocin. I valued my sanity and ability to be in the world. One pill seemed a better choice than a whole bottle.  That was when I encountered an “Aha Moment.”  We had increased my Inderal (beta-blocker) under the assumption that higher levels would help the headaches.  Well, they didn’t. When I tried to go back to my regular dosages of Indocin I was not feeling all that much better. A little but not much….  It was then that I realized that the only change was the beta-blocker. As soon as I decreased the levels I felt much better. I also realized that the “shadow heaviness” that was making me think that my headaches had been getting harder to manage the past year or so was only the side effects of the beta-blocker. 

Good news. So far my blood pressure has not gone up and I am feeling much better. I am back on the Indocin at least for now. So now I am back to functioning. I can actually sit and look at a computer screen without increasing discomfort and I am able to read - two things that I was not able to do two weeks ago. One good outcome is that I couldn't tolerate any diet pop during those torturous days and had to grow an appreciation for water. My craving for diet pop is still pretty low and my tolerance for water is far greater than it was. I also have an appointment to see a neurologist. 

And I can only wonder what the other end of the “bridge” would have felt/looked like had the side effects of the other medication (Beta-blocker) not been there. I may find out but then again like the bi-polar individual/lithium or the diabetic/insulin if my body requires something for the rest of my life I could do worst. And I won’t take it as a lack of my character that my brain won’t function without assistance if that is where this search and journey takes me.